MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

Act 3 Scene 4

(Enter Hero, Margaret, and Ursula)
l1l	Hero	 Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desire
l2l		her to rise.
l3l	Ursula	I will, lady.
l4l	Hero	And bid her come hither.
l5l	Ursula	Well.
		(Exit)
l6l	Margaret	 Troth, I think your other rebato were better.
l7l	Hero	No, pray thee, good Meg, I’ll wear this.
l8l	Margaret	By my troth, ’s not so good, and I warrant
l9l		your cousin will say so.
l10l	Hero	My cousin’s a fool, and thou art another: I’ll wear
l11l		none but this.
l12l	Margaret	I like the new tire within excellently, if the
l13l		hair were a thought browner. And your gown’s a most
l14l		rare fashion, i’ faith. I saw the Duchess of Milan’s gown
l15l		that they praise so.
l16l	Hero	O, that exceeds, they say.
l17l	Margaret	By my troth, ’s but a night-gown in respect
l18l		of yours—cloth o’ gold, and cuts, and laced with silver,
l19l		set with pearls, down sleeves, side sleeves, and skirts
l20l		round underborne with a bluish tinsel. But for a fine,
l21l		quaint, graceful, and excellent fashion, yours is worth
l22l		ten on ’t.
l23l	Hero	God give me joy to wear it, for my heart is exceeding
l24l		heavy.
l25l	Margaret	’Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man.
l26l	Hero	Fie upon thee, art not ashamed?
l27l	Margaret	Of what, lady? Of speaking honourably? Is not
l28l		marriage honourable in a beggar? Is not your lord
l29l		honourable without marriage? I think you would have
l30l		me say “saving your reverence, a husband”. An bad
l31l		thinking do not wrest true speaking, I’ll offend nobody.
l32l		Is there any harm in “the heavier for a husband”?
l33l		None, I think, an it be the right husband and the right
l34l		wife—otherwise ’tis light and not heavy. Ask my Lady
l35l		Beatrice else. Here she comes.
		(Enter Beatrice)
l36l	Hero	 Good morrow, coz.
l37l	Beatrice	Good morrow, sweet Hero.
l38l	Hero	Why, how now? Do you speak in the sick tune?
l39l	Beatrice	I am out of all other tune, methinks.
l40l	Margaret	Clap ’s into “Light o’ love”. That goes without
l41l		a burden. Do you sing it, and I’ll dance it.
l42l	Beatrice	Ye light o’ love with your heels. Then if your
l43l		husband have stables enough, you’ll see he shall lack
l44l		no barns.
l45l	Margaret	O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with
l46l		my heels.
l47l	Beatrice	(to Hero)
		 ’Tis almost five o’clock, cousin. ’Tis
l48l		time you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill.
l49l		Heigh-ho!
l50l	Margaret	For a hawk, a horse, or a husband?
l51l	Beatrice	For the letter that begins them all—h.
l52l	Margaret	Well, an you be not turned Turk, there’s no
l53l		more sailing by the star.
l54l	Beatrice	What means the fool, trow?
l55l	Margaret	Nothing, I. But God send everyone their heart’s
l56l		desire.
l57l	Hero	These gloves the Count sent me, they are an
l58l		excellent perfume.
l59l	Beatrice	I am stuffed, cousin. I cannot smell.
l60l	Margaret	A maid, and stuffed! There’s goodly catching
l61l		of cold.
l62l	Beatrice	O, God help me, God help me. How long have
l63l		you professed apprehension?
l64l	Margaret	Ever since you left it. Doth not my wit become
l65l		me rarely?
l66l	Beatrice	It is not seen enough. You should wear it in
l67l		your cap. By my troth, I am sick.
l68l	Margaret	Get you some of this distilled carduus benedictus,
l69l		and lay it to your heart. It is the only thing for a
l70l		qualm.
l71l	Hero	There thou prickest her with a thistle.
l72l	Beatrice	Benedictus—why Benedictus? You have some
l73l		moral in this Benedictus.
l74l	Margaret	Moral? No, by my troth, I have no moral
l75l		meaning. I meant plain holy-thistle. You may think
l76l		perchance that I think you are in love. Nay, by ’r Lady,
l77l		I am not such a fool to think what I list, nor I list not
l78l		to think what I can, nor indeed I cannot think, if I
l79l		would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in
l80l		love, or that you will be in love, or that you can be in
l81l		love. Yet Benedick was such another, and now is he
l82l		become a man. He swore he would never marry, and
l83l		yet now in despite of his heart he eats his meat without
l84l		grudging. And how you may be converted I know not,
l85l		but methinks you look with your eyes, as other women
l86l		do.
l87l	Beatrice	What pace is this that thy tongue keeps?
l88l	Margaret	Not a false gallop.
		(Enter Ursula)
l89l	Ursula	(to Hero)
		 Madam, withdraw. The Prince, the
l90l		Count, Signor Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants
l91l		of the town are come to fetch you to church.
l92l	Hero	Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula.
		( 92 Exeunt)